Food Isn’t Good or Bad: Dispelling Shame at the Table
Welcome back to The Weight Loss Collab! In today’s episode, co-host Hannah Schuyler dives into a powerful and rarely discussed topic—food and shame. We’re used to hearing about macros, micros, and nutrition science, but what about the emotional weight we carry every time we make a food choice? Hannah invites listeners to reflect honestly on moments of guilt, secrecy, and shame around eating, challenging the deeply rooted messages that tie morality to what we put on our plates.
With humor and personal stories (including an honest admission about sour cream and cheddar chips in the Aldi parking lot!), Hannah explores how food has no morality—eating a certain way doesn’t make you “good” or “bad.” Instead, she encourages everyone to focus on what truly makes a person kind, compassionate, and generous—qualities that have nothing to do with food choices. This episode is a fresh reminder that enjoying food, sharing meals with friends, and letting go of shame can help us savor life—and our weight loss journeys—a whole lot more. So, get comfortable and join us as we break down the unnecessary baggage of food guilt and embrace being perfectly, beautifully human.
Transcript
Hannah is going to be talking about a powerful topic,
Speaker:food and shame. And I wanted to remind
Speaker:you that if it is time to take your calcium
Speaker:chain, it is time to make a calcium
Speaker:chain. So wanted to give
Speaker:that reminder. And so I'm a solar hand. Let's
Speaker:welcome Hannah with a warm round of applause.
Speaker:Thank you, Laura. Thank you always for that reminder or if it's your mult.
Speaker:Whatever, whatever you need to do. All right, well, thank you all
Speaker:so much. I'm really excited to be speaking about this today. This is something
Speaker:that I think we don't really focus on when it comes to food.
Speaker:My job is all about talking about nutrition. Right. And we
Speaker:get caught up in the macros and the micros and all of those things, but
Speaker:it's so much more than that. Right. So we're going to dive into it a
Speaker:little bit. So I'm not going to talk to you about macros and micros. Sorry.
Speaker:If you wanted to hear that today, if you feel comfortable,
Speaker:I want you to raise your hand. I'm gonna ask a couple questions and raise
Speaker:your hand if you felt these things. So raise your hand if you've ever
Speaker:felt guilty while you're eating. I have for
Speaker:sure. Yeah. Raise your hand if you've ever eaten in secret.
Speaker:Yeah, most people have. Raise your hand if you've ever
Speaker:hidden a food wrapper in the trash can so that no
Speaker:one else saw what you were eating. Yeah, I've done it. I know I have.
Speaker:Why do we do these things? Why
Speaker:do we have that emotion? And what is that emotion?
Speaker:You can probably guess what it is based on the theme of today. It's
Speaker:shame. And oftentimes when we think about
Speaker:that shame relationship to food, it actually presents in maybe a different way
Speaker:of guilt. And I think that we hear that all the time.
Speaker:And why, again, why do we feel that about ourselves? Why do we feel guilt
Speaker:when it comes to food? Maybe because we're bombarded
Speaker:with that message. A moment on the lips, forever on the
Speaker:hips. Nothing tastes as good as skinny
Speaker:feels. We all remember that one.
Speaker:Guilty pleasure. Guilt free. Maybe you've tried
Speaker:a guilt free recipe. Indulgence. All
Speaker:of these terms that are meant to evoke
Speaker:emotion, they're meant to help you to buy more food, basically.
Speaker:But they make us feel a certain way about ourselves, and that's often
Speaker:shame and guilt. We're constantly being
Speaker:told that not that these foods are bad
Speaker:or good, but that we ourselves
Speaker:are bad or good because we eat those foods.
Speaker:And that's not true. Neither of those things is True food
Speaker:has no morality. It
Speaker:is not good or bad. Food is
Speaker:not holy or evil. And
Speaker:eating a type of food does not make you
Speaker:good or bad. It does not make you
Speaker:holy or evil. Food is
Speaker:food, and eating it makes you
Speaker:a person. Recently I went to the grocery store. I
Speaker:do it actually quite frequently, once a week like most people.
Speaker:And I was returning my cart to the little corral, as
Speaker:everyone should do. It's the responsible thing. Also,
Speaker:I had to get my quarter back because I was at Aldi.
Speaker:And as I'm putting my cart back, someone's coming in from the parking lot and
Speaker:it's one of our patients. And she's like, hannah, I thought that was you.
Speaker:And we started chatting and she's telling me all about her success
Speaker:and all the great things and everything. And it's just a nice little
Speaker:conversation. But what do I realize that I'm doing
Speaker:as I'm standing there talking to this woman who has met with me for nutrition
Speaker:counseling? Her car. Oh, she hadn't
Speaker:chopped. And I would never. Sometimes I look at people's car for
Speaker:inspiration, but that's about it.
Speaker:No, what was I doing? I was holding a full size bag
Speaker:of sour cream and cheddar ruffles.
Speaker:And it was the only thing that I had because I had already put
Speaker:my groceries in my car. Snapchat. And it was snack
Speaker:time. Exactly. I was going to fully get into my car and drive
Speaker:away and eat those chips on the way home. Now, she didn't say anything
Speaker:about the chips. I didn't say anything about the chips.
Speaker:We had a couple minute conversation and then she went in the store and I
Speaker:drove home. And as I got in my car, started driving the 15 minutes
Speaker:home, I thought, I started
Speaker:to feel that, that wave of shame of, ooh, bad
Speaker:girl. You got caught red handed. The
Speaker:dietitian got caught with a bag of
Speaker:potato chips. And then I thought, screw that,
Speaker:I'm a human. And shocker, I eat all types of
Speaker:food and everyone in this room has eaten all types of food.
Speaker:And it did not make me good. It didn't make me bad, because I was
Speaker:doing it. It was a choice I was making, and I'm fine with it.
Speaker:And so I did. I had to. And fortunately, I have the background, I have
Speaker:the knowledge that I can take that I can recognize what's happening in the moment
Speaker:and I can kind of let it go. But it still came up, it still
Speaker:bubbled up. I'm sure she noticed. I'm sure she was clocking it,
Speaker:but that's okay. And it didn't make me bad. It
Speaker:didn't make me good. It made me a person. It made me human.
Speaker:And so I want to think. Want you to think if you were. The last
Speaker:time, maybe you were out with your girlfriends. I know we have a couple guys
Speaker:in here, but let's be real, mostly women in here. You had a little
Speaker:girl's lunch, you went out, Maybe you went out with your family, whatever it might
Speaker:be. And you said to each other, should we be
Speaker:bad? Sort of. That. That was you last night.
Speaker:Exactly. There we go. Should we get the French
Speaker:fries? Should we get dessert? Let's be bad.
Speaker:And we hear that all the time, Right? It happens in TV shows, It happens
Speaker:in movies. Let's be bad. I think even commercials use it. Right?
Speaker:Why do we do this to ourselves? Did you guys feel like
Speaker:bad people because you had ice cream after? Afterwards? I
Speaker:did. Just because you're lactose intolerant? Yeah, so.
Speaker:But. But you weren't a bad person. It did not affect you, your
Speaker:morals. It was good. I love. Who doesn't love ice cream?
Speaker:And so. And you shared. But even if you didn't, that's
Speaker:okay. Like, you don't have to qualify it either to yourself.
Speaker:You can eat. It's allowed. You're allowed to eat in a whole serving of ice
Speaker:cream. I've done it before. And so.
Speaker:But more of what your night was and what your last lady's lunch
Speaker:was or your family dinner was, was you enjoying time with those
Speaker:people. It was you sitting down, having good
Speaker:conversation, laughing, having fun,
Speaker:and enjoying your food. You probably enjoyed the ice cream. You
Speaker:enjoyed the french fries. So why would it make you be a
Speaker:bad person? Or why do you feel maybe shame thinking back to those moments?
Speaker:You know, food is fuel. And that's something that we do
Speaker:acknowledge. Food fuels our lives, gives us energy,
Speaker:does all the things for us. And that is true, but it's so much more,
Speaker:you know, it's so much more. It's a part of our daily life, and it's
Speaker:part of connection. And in this, I'm not dismissing
Speaker:nutrition. My career is built on
Speaker:nutrition and nutrition science and nutritional values of different
Speaker:food and the role that different foods play in our body. But releasing the
Speaker:shame and the guilt of how we feel when we're eating
Speaker:does not negate science. It doesn't mean that that can't
Speaker:also be true. So with weight loss specifically,
Speaker:obviously, that's what we've all gone through here. We
Speaker:still need to do things like focus on our protein.
Speaker:We're still going to remind you, especially when you're early, to stick to
Speaker:that low carb diet. We're, we're still gonna tell you to
Speaker:not eat a diet rich in starches, high in ultra processed
Speaker:foods or other nutrients like sodium or trans or saturated
Speaker:fats. Trans fats aren't a problem anymore. Don't worry about those. But saturated fats,
Speaker:Cause you know what, you're gonna have those foods sometimes, and that's okay.
Speaker:But we can still acknowledge that we have to make these
Speaker:choices to reach a certain goal.
Speaker:And so the flip side of that feeling good, feeling
Speaker:bad conversation is true. You don't have to feel bad when
Speaker:you choose the health promoting option over the one that's not going
Speaker:to serve your current goal. And I think sometimes that happens and sometimes
Speaker:that's pressure. There's peer pressure or family pressure, things like that.
Speaker:But it also doesn't make you a good person. It
Speaker:just makes you still a person who's trying to achieve a goal. So. So it
Speaker:does go both ways. I want to do another little
Speaker:activity and you're welcome to close your eyes if you like while we do this.
Speaker:It'll just take a moment, but I want you just to think about a
Speaker:person in your life that you would describe as a good person.
Speaker:Just take a, take a couple seconds to think about that and think about what
Speaker:qualities makes them a good person. I'll give you a few seconds
Speaker:here. Go.
Speaker:All right. Does anyone want to share some of the qualities that they thought about?
Speaker:Just shout them out of what you would think of as a good person in
Speaker:your life. Kind. Yeah.
Speaker:Caring. Understanding.
Speaker:Huh? Dependable. Dependable.
Speaker:Pardon me. Helpful. Supportive.
Speaker:Supportive. Empathetic. Generous. Generous.
Speaker:Compassionate. Consistent. Consistent. These are all great things,
Speaker:right? Did anybody think about what they ate last time
Speaker:they went out to dinner with that person? Did you think about if
Speaker:they ordered the french fries? Did that play a role
Speaker:in that concept of if that was a good person? No,
Speaker:nobody did. And you wouldn't. But we do it about
Speaker:ourselves. We 100% do it about ourselves. I'm
Speaker:guessing a lot of you thought about your mom. Did anybody think about their mom
Speaker:as a good person? Yeah, I got a couple hands here. Most moms are pretty
Speaker:good people. As a mom, I think I can say it
Speaker:up, but the person that I actually thought about when I think about a good
Speaker:person in my life is my best friend, Gracie.
Speaker:Oops, sorry, guys.
Speaker:I do have emotions. Laura. See, I told Laura
Speaker:yesterday, I don't have emotions. I've known Gracie
Speaker:for over a decade. We met in our dietetic internship
Speaker:in New Orleans, and I actually have a pretty good
Speaker:knowledge of what she eats day in and day out.
Speaker:You knew about your best friend, right? But also not only that she is a
Speaker:registered dietitian, she's also a breast cancer survivor.
Speaker:So nutrition has played a big role in her life, especially
Speaker:in the last few years, both professionally and for her own health,
Speaker:personal reasons. But that doesn't matter.
Speaker:When I think about Gracie being a good person, the words that come
Speaker:to mind with her are generous. To me,
Speaker:over the past decade, she has been one of the most generous people
Speaker:in my life. She was my maid of honor. She
Speaker:supported me while she was having breast cancer treatment. Through my
Speaker:pregnancy. We went to Beyonce together,
Speaker:and I was pregnant, and she was getting ready to start chemo,
Speaker:and I was like, we're a perfect match right now because we
Speaker:went to Beyonce, then we went to bed.
Speaker:But she is just such a generous person with her time, with her
Speaker:energy, with her resources. And she also has a really deep
Speaker:love of her friends and her family. She's a very
Speaker:close family, and you see that in her every day and,
Speaker:you know, all day, every day. And she's very. Her friends are all very lucky
Speaker:to have her. But that's what I think of when I think of Gracie. Now.
Speaker:There is one food thing that I think of that makes Gracie like one of
Speaker:my good people, and it's that she is literally my favorite person to
Speaker:go out to dinner with. And my husband knows that. He plays a very
Speaker:distant second fiddle to Gracie when it comes to wanting to go out to
Speaker:dinner. And again, it's not because of the choices that she makes, that
Speaker:they're health promoting, that they have a lot of protein and
Speaker:vegetables and all that good stuff. See there, I just did it. Good stuff.
Speaker:I can't even get away from it. It's because we always
Speaker:share our food. We order two
Speaker:entrees, and we share them both. And the best part, really, is that we
Speaker:always want the same two exact entrees. So it works out beautifully.
Speaker:But I think to those moments of not what we're eating and all of that,
Speaker:but it's just the connection that we have and the joy that we share when
Speaker:we do share those meals. And so I think what we can do is we
Speaker:can take, you know, these thoughts of what does a good person mean?
Speaker:And we can apply that to ourselves, and we can
Speaker:allow ourselves to remove that guilt
Speaker:and that shame, and that allows us
Speaker:to savor these moments. It allows us to enjoy
Speaker:our time it allows us to enjoy our friends and our families and our loved
Speaker:ones and really gain more pleasure out of
Speaker:food. It can take us out of that food,
Speaker:you know, diet cycle and that shame spiral that we sometimes do feel
Speaker:tissue. Don't we get it? Yeah, we
Speaker:had to get. These were last minute purses.
Speaker:But it really allows us to get out of our own head and
Speaker:reflect on ourselves and recognize that yes, food
Speaker:can be health promoting, food can be detrimental
Speaker:from a health perspective, there's no denying that.
Speaker:But the act of eating food, the act of making a choice
Speaker:of what you eat, does not make you good or bad.
Speaker:It does not make you holy or evil. It just makes you
Speaker:a person.
